« You Don't Need Big Data. You Need A Porsche. | Main | How Fear Impacts Your Future »

You're On the Wrong Side of Your Face

Posted on Monday, October 5, 2015 at 09:09PM by Registered CommenterLon Langston | Comments Off

You’re on the wrong side of your face to see what it looks like when you are listening to someone else talk, which makes it more difficult to do what I’m about to suggest.

Have you ever noticed what Anderson Cooper looks like when he is listening to someone speak on a split screen on CNN? Anderson Cooper has a great listening face. In fact, his listening face may well have contributed to his TV news success. He doesn’t look anxious or bored. He doesn’t look like he is waiting to talk or distracted. He may well be formulating his next question, but you’d never know that. He looks totally interested.

Totally interested is how you and I should look when someone else is talking, especially when that someone else is a customer, prospect, boss, friend or spouse. The problem, as I mentioned, is that you and I can’t see our own listening faces. I mean, I can see yours and you can see mine, but you can’t see yours and I can’t see mine.  

And, unfortunately, a mirror is useless because of a kind of personal Hawthorne Effect . The Hawthorne Effect refers to the fact that people change their behavior when they are aware that they are being observed. When you look into the mirror, the fact that you are looking at your face causes you to change your face.

A great listening face is a powerful tool. It causes people to want to buy from you, sell to you, help you, hire you, promote you, …

I’ll leave it to you to figure out whether your listening face is good or bad. I would suggest asking your friends to honestly tell you or, if you have the chance, watching yourself on video.